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What I needed

5/17/2012

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Last night started with a strong urge and desire for ritual.  I felt the desperate need for spiritual connection with my Gods in a more intense way then the  daily candle lighting with prayer. Lately, I have been feeling as if they want something from me, but I have been unsure what.  I made some whole wheat pita bread, bought a pomegranate, grabbed the alcohol, and the Queen of Heaven incense for offerings.  I followed the full Core Order of Ritual, and asked Hecate to be my gatekeeper.  I figured that I was calling for something rather important, and that meant  a full scale ritual was in order. Form the start, things felt extremely intense. I felt the Theoi were giving me the look of, "About time." 

 I have always been fairly good at keeping at least a light trance during ritual work. This time the trance aspect was much more pronounced.  I felt almost  about to enter that state of trance that tends to better described as visions of a dream like quality.  I felt my vision blur at times, but I never seemed go quite that deep, like something was holding me back.  

I had four Gods in particular that I wanted to speck with: Athena, Dionysus, Hera, and Hades. I asked each in turn if they had a message for me that I needed to hear, and then dew the omens.

Dionysus gave me the reverse Goose ( and, no, this isn't him pinching my boobs as opposed to my ass, but instead the animal... silly people). This one hurt to see.  The meaning of this card is that I have been too overly concerned with my rights, possessions, and territory.  He has been calling me to give up control to him for some time, and I keep saying, "Later."  I don't think, "Later," is going to cut it anymore.  I thought maybe I would dare asking for further clarification on the matter, in hopes that I had read it wrong.  He gave me the Stag in reverse. The Stag in reverse symbolizes a need to examine where pride is either helping or hindering. It also can be drawn as a sign for sacrifice, or purification.  The guide adds, "...perhaps through a letting-go of unnecessary possessions or emotional attachments." His were the only animal cards I drew, the rest came from the Plant Oracle (For those who don't know, I mix the two decks into one large one.  I really like how it works with them combined.)

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Athena gave me the Fir Club Moss.  My sweet Lady gave me a true gift with this card. This card is a sign of something that is starting small, but will grow to great power and usefulness. It is a card of initiation.

"...in time you may well look back and realize how much your life has changed because of this one, seemingly small, act... Until now your understanding or perspective on a situation has been impaired, perhaps through lack of emotional distance.  But now it is as if a veil has been drawn aside and unmistakeable clarity has emerged."

What has entered my life during this ritual may seem small, but it will grow, and become something amazing.

Hera gave me Burdock in reverse. This is a card of blame and the need to end the cycle that I tend to fall into.  It is so easy to blame others or myself for every little thing that goes wrong.  I need to stop blaming, find what has gone wrong, or right, find out why, and deal accordingly. The image of the Goose hissing keeps attacking itself to this card in my mind's eye.

Hades gave me flowers. Not just any flowers, but the soothing and calming Chamomile. This is card of rest, calm, and mostly protection. He is calling me to reconnect with my body and soul in ways that will allow for healing and regeneration.  My time at the Fellowship has been wonderful. It feels good to be the go-to person when things need to be done, but at the same time I have been feeling rather disconnected from the group spiritually. I feel burned out and ready to step back.  I have found myself not wanting to go on Sunday mornings, because it is just one more thing I need to do.  It is time for me to take a step back before I find myself walking out the door to never return. I've known this for some time. I am now taking those steps that are needed so that I may rest and rebuild my own spirituality. 

The need to create this space with my Gods  was something I think I have needed for some time now, but was either ignoring, or not recognizing.  Group work is powerful, but I needed this deeper work to be just between us, and with no human on-lookers. My daily prayers and meditations are good, but sometimes more is needed.  I am thinking I need to set time aside to do this more regularly.  Okay, what Druid in their right minds doesn't want more ritual in their lives?

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Hades

5/3/2012

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I know I get odd looks when I say this, but since I am typing this and can’t see your face... Hades is one of my patrons.  He has come to me in the most gentle spirit, and I have fallen in love.    

He is keeper of our dead and rewarder of those who walked justly in life, and this is something I think gets forgotten about.  Elysium is his, as well as Tartarus.  All those images of Heaven that Christians talk about, yeah those are Elysium, and gold bricked roads make more sense when you are the owner of all the riches in the ground.

I would like to take the time to remind everyone that he is not just a God of death (actually, he isn’t a God of death so much, since that is Thanatos, but is instead the ruler of the dead, which is very different), but is the God of all the riches in the Earth.  This would include that rather dark stuff that is used to propel our cars forward down the road, the sparklies on our gold and silver jewelry, as well as all those lovely stones that we use in various ways in Pagan circles.

Hades has given me a calling. He has been kind and patient as I work out how best to complete this task he has given me.  He has called me to aid those who are passing from this world and into the next.  He asked me to show compassion and to provide support as others take this journey that in the end we all take.  Just as Hades wept to the music of Orpheus, he has called me to sing to the tears of those left behind, and ease their loved ones.

Hades 
Protector of our dead
first born 
the one who makes life possible
without death there is no life
Hades I sing to you my love
I have seen your tears
I know your compassion
Hades
giver of great wealth
be with us as we pass
provide for us a place
when we take our last
Hades 
Protector of our dead
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When Death Comes A Callin'

11/10/2011

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A few months before Samhain, I started having a rather unusual visitor.  Lord Hades, whose name means, the “unseen,” is often very misunderstood and has a great deal of baggage attached to him.  In many ways Hades gets the gyp.   Hades is the first born son, and as such should have inherited the rule of all the Gods, but that honor went instead to the youngest son, Zeus.  Hades accepts everybody into his realm.  Good, evil, neither; all are given a place. The greatest travesty of how Hades is treated, in my opinion, is that he is treated as a great evil.  My personal opinion for why he is thought of in this manner is because the various Christian sects identified him with Satan and translated the Hebrew word Sheol (meaning a place of the dead, but without the afterlife connotations) with the word Hades. In the older myths about Hades, he tends to be a rather neutral or passive toward events that are taking place, and even sometimes charitable. 

In his book, “Deep Ancestors,” Caisiwr Serith talks about how when we do ritual we are contributing to the *Xartus, which is the proto-indo-european word which describes the pattern or order of the universe.  I would argue that Hades serves the *Xartus as well.  Without death chaos would reign.  Our world works, we have healthy ecosystems, as well as simply being able to eat, because death exists. Death and decay serve a purpose in this world.  This is not to detract from the severe emotional pain that it can cause, especially when the death is an unjust one, but without death there would be no life.  We use the three world cosmology of the indo-europeans in which the underworld is base of the tree of life.  Death is the base for life in the middle and upper realms. Without the underworld and the land of the dead the tree would not grow. True, this realm is fed by the waters of chaos, but it is not a part of the chaos itself.

Even though death serves a purpose in life, it is often seen as a defeat, or some type of failure in Western culture.  I have heard a story that hospice started because doctors refused to admit that people might die in hospitals.  It is understandable for doctors to view death as a type of defeat, but in reality it isn’t.  Death is part of the order of the cosmos, and while it shouldn’t be forced or encouraged, it shouldn’t be feared or hated.

When Hades first came to visit, he started talking to me about what it meant to have a meaningful death.  We chatted about burial and what a good death should look like.  He nudged me to teach a class on green burial at my fellowship, and I researched the different ways to care for the dying as well as their remains.  I found out about Death Doulas or Thana Doulas. Thana Doulas help give people options when they die as well as while they are in process.  They provide presence and comfort care, often singing and touching the person to help them find ease.  They provide support for the families as well.  They can help with grief or act as funeral liaisons. Often they will help the family navigate the sometimes serpentine system that is the modern funeral business so that they are not being forced to make rapid choices in the throws of new grief.

“...a thana doula or death midwife, helps people with 'How am I going to deal with my death?' both literally and practically.  Funerals and wakes are usually steeped in culture, tradition and religion, so much so most people don't think there is a choice. But there are options.  Toronto thana doula Elizabeth Lancaster said more people are dealing with their death in their own way. She said first, people have to consider what's important to them.”1

As I look at my new protogrove and form and shape a vision of its growing and staying for years to come, I am faced with one very true reality, if the grove lasts as long as I dream it will, at some point in time someone will die.  This is something I want to be ready for.  I want to be able to serve the people as they have need.  I believe this is why Hades came a knockin’, as my grandmother would say.  I feel a call to get training to be a death doula and to help people in one of the most emotional times of their lives.  I want to help people have a good death and be buried in a way that has meaning to them and their families.  In turn, I hope that by starting a tradition of death doulas in my area, that maybe when it is my turn, there will be someone to walk beside me, and show me the door.  Hades willing, it will be so.







1 Inside Toronto article, “Death midwives help people have a 'good death'”: http://www.insidetoronto.com/community/life/article/980068--death-midwives-help-people-have-a-good-death

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    Author

    Amanda Thomas is the Grove Organizer for the Ad Astra Grove.  She also serves on the Topeka Interfaith Council.

    Hera Lakeshore is a practicing druid and contributor to the Ad Astra Grove blog.

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